A dusting of marketing mojo

Frosty the Snowman has been an icon for generations, sure, but his public perception needed a little zhuzhing up. Through a steady but subtle drumbeat of marketing exposure, we’ve rolled him into the 21st century. No longer do you see this inveterate smoker with his once-ever-present corncob pipe when making publicity appearances at ice rinks and ski resorts. We also had to ditch his loyal sidekick, Karen. Sweet kid and all, but we can’t have our beloved “jolly, happy soul” shadowed by a playmate who sounds like she’s perpetually on the verge of calling security or asking for the manager.

Did we mention the carbine action?

You know you’re in desperate need of some good press when the first thing — heck, the only thing — anyone ever mentions about a product is, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” Enough was enough, folks. Listen, Inquiring Reporters, while we can’t speak directly to unsubstantiated rumors of eyes being shot out … what we can tell you is that kids have never seen a gift as marvelous, as stupendous, as remarkable as the Red Ryder BB gun. Thanks to a wildly successful media relations campaign over the last few years, mentions of eyes being shot out have dropped 92%, according to media-monitoring services. These days, when reporters and TV anchors refer to it — and they refer to it often — they call “the official Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot range model air rifle” by its rightful honorific: The Holy Grail of Christmas Gifts. Ralphie Parker knew. The Old Man knew. And now, everyone knows.

A treat even vegans can love

Few holiday classics were more in need of a rebrand than that old chestnut, er, fruit dessert known for centuries as mincemeat pie. At any holiday event worth its weight (literally), there’s a dessert table laden with frosted confections and razzleberry dressing, extravagant eggnog shakes and pink peppermint pastries, thunderous chocolate swirls and caramel canyons … and so much more. Who the hell is choosing a mincemeat pie? Is it meat? Should you put whipped cream on it? Hot sauce? Thanks to a yearlong rebranding campaign complete with focus groups, product revamping, endless taste tests, and a fresh new look for everything from packaging to advertising to marketing materials … let us introduce you to your new favorite holiday dessert: the SugarScrumptiousPalooza Deluxe. America loves a comeback, baby!